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Community service without a nudge from da judge

Community service without a nudge from da judge

By William Lightner, Guest Contributor

Amystery man has been clearing trash from the sides of Warm Springs Road north of the Y. Let’s call him Red, since he drives a Honda side-by-side when on duty.

He doesn’t wear perp orange, because he took on this duty without getting in trouble — though who knows what’ll happen if he’s stopped by the CHP.

Said Red, “I was cycling along Warm Springs Road and got peeved [not his exact words for it] by the beer cans and fast-food packaging [again, not his words for it, as he likes the use of a colorful metaphor). Peeved wasn’t solving the problem. So, I took it on myself. Thing is, I’d like my neighbors to look after their own frontages. That would extend my beat.” Since he’s not wearing a county jumpsuit, you may have to watch for him, if only to avoid adding to the roadside clutter. And maybe, give him a little help. On that subject, Red offers advice: “Wear gloves! Human detritus can sometimes be nasty [his real words for it]. But hey, only once did it spontaneously burn up our garbage can.”