Do you hear what I hear?
I like Christmas carols and other holiday songs just fine, but I've always wondered why seemingly everyone feels they have to put out a Christmas album. Is there really a need to put yet another spin on “The First Noel?”
The newest entry into this painful listening genre is Captain James Tiberius Kirk, AKA William Shatner, well-known not only for bringing order to the universe, but for a post-Star Trek career of spoken word albums.
So right after you play the Christmas music of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, you can segue into Shatner's Shatner Claus album and his moving renditions of “Little Drummer Boy” and “Feliz Navidad.”
Not to say there aren't some great artists out there with solid Christmas albums - Elvis (of course), Tony Bennett, Frank Sinatra, Stevie Wonder, and Michael Bublé, just to name a few.
But enough with the Christmas albums already!
We don't need an album from Tiny Tim with his “O Come All Ye Faithful Medley.” Or The Regis Philbin Christmas Album.
The late actor Christopher Lee (Dracula, Bond villain Scaramanga, Saruman in Lord of the Rings) improbably put out A Heavy Metal Christmas in 2012, so you can open your presents to his head-banging version of “Silent Night.”
Ready to carve the turkey? Put A Rosie Christmas on the turntable and sing along with Rosie O'Donnell doing a cover of “Do You Hear What I Hear” with Elmo.
To complete your tortured holiday collection, you can add artists such as David Hasselhoff, The Partridge Family, Twisted Sister, Colonel Sanders, Weezer, Iggy Pop, The Brady Bunch, Rascal Flatts, Jackie Gleason, the cast of TV's Bonanza, Lindsay Lohan, and last but not least, The Three Stooges. A nice variety.
You can't make this stuff up. Captain Kirk is looking pretty good about now.
I hear you asking, what does our family listen to over the holidays? We have our staples, such as Bing Crosby, Nat King Cole, The Chieftains, Johnny Mathis, Jackson Five. Sure, we have a couple of quirky CDs, like A Very Merry Chipmunk (Alvin & the Chipmunks along with Celine Dion and Kenny G), and A Gregorian Christmas with, you know, lots of chanting.
All of us at the Kenwood Press hope you enjoy your favorite music over the holidays as you spend time with friends and family, and hopefully enjoy a little down time. Just a reminder, we do not publish a Jan. 1 issue, so don't be concerned if no paper shows up on that day, because it doesn't exist! Our next issue will come out Jan. 15, as the Kenwood Press enters its fourth decade of publishing.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!