The Kenwood Press
Publishers' Corner: 08/01/2019

What’s your superpower?

Ann Q. Peters

Last week I spilled wine on the carpet while plowing through piles of paper. My method of cleaning up my desk is to take everything off it, put it on the floor, then figure out what needs to be immediately dealt with, filed or otherwise put away, and toss the rest.

Guess that stack of books I set the glass on wasn’t as stable as it looked. Or I’m too old to be sitting on the floor for very long. Or filing while drinking is bad idea. Or all of the above.

Last month I was driving to an important meeting, wearing white pants, a pale yellow shirt, and a beige sweater. I took a swig out of what was obviously a very poorly-designed travel mug, and managed to spill coffee onto all three articles of clothing. And there was no time to go home and change – ack!

The other day I dropped dollar bills all over the Wine Truffle Boutique at VJB while trying to pay for gelato.

I’m “The Spiller.” My secret superpower is spilling things.

Alec frequently loses track of his car keys, his wallet, or his messenger bag full of important newspaper publisher things, even when it’s sitting on a kitchen stool in plain sight. He usually finds the missing items, sometimes even in the same day.

He’s “The Misplacer,” and his secret superpower is misplacing things.

Jay is… how to put this tactfully… memory-challenged, especially when it comes to names and dates. One time he missed a plane because he thought he was leaving on a Wednesday, but his ticket was for Tuesday. He writes things down, but then forgets to look at his calendar.

Jay is “The Forgetter.” His secret superpower is forgetting things.

I know you’re confused. I was too, at first, until I realized the power of my superpower. I’m a very picky, Felix Unger-type person. There’s a place for everything, and everything in its place. I even have a specific method for emptying the ice trays so as not to crack any of the cubes. Perfect ice is important to me, what can I say?

So the fact that I spill things gives great joy to the rest of my family. It gives them an opportunity to make fun of me, which is important as we’re an equal opportunity household when it comes to teasing. So my superpower makes for a happy family.

When Alec is tearing the place apart looking for his keys, the thing he most often finds is cash – in pants pockets, drawers, under the car seat, etc. He also finds all sorts of other things that we’ve lost, like scissors, power strips, nozzles for the garden hose. No need to buy any more when you already have three of the same thing. So Alec’s superpower saves us time and money.

Jay is always on the phone, calling people to ask them about whatever it is he forgot. And he is so charming and self-deprecating about it that people love him. So Jay’s superpower makes friends. That may be the best one of all.

See how this works? What’s your secret superpower?

– Ann