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Understanding Your Relationship with Money: 08/15/2013

Understanding Your Relationship with Money

Living in the moment

I was at the gym a few weeks ago, sitting in the lobby after my workout, and there she was, a two-year-old in a homemade pink tutu waiting while her mom checked in at the front desk for her dance class. With her nose pressed up against the glass door that led to the pool, it was obvious that she wanted to go outside. She was saying so in her own lyrical language. Then her mom scooped her up; the little girl whimpered a bit, not understanding why swimming wasn’t on the agenda. I watched her innocence and confusion as her mom gave her a hug, reassured her they would go another time, and off they went.

I was surprised when an older woman next to me suddenly said, “Life is hard when you live in the moment.” I realized she’d been watching the little girl, too. She noticed her tutu as well, and started to reminisce about how her daughter would wear hers for weeks at a time, and the only way she’d take it off her was while she slept, slipping it off to wash it for round two in the morning. She continued, “even if it seemed inappropriate to others, I let her wear it because I knew it wouldn’t last long…how quickly they grow up.” She felt it was important to let her “be” in that magical state where everything sparkles, and wearing a tutu made anything possible!

She shared another story with me. “I let my daughter’s little friends build forts in my living room, you know, with cushions from my couch, and blankets. One little boy was so enthralled with his new world, he didn’t want to leave!”

At this point, I was glued to every word she said. I completely imagined how her living room must’ve looked because I used to do the same thing in my bedroom on Saturday mornings with my bedspread, blankets and pillows. My own little cave dwelling.

She continued, “So he lived with us for three weeks in our living room.” My jaw dropped and my eyebrows hit my hairline!

“Did his mom agree to that?”

“Yes, she did. I felt it was so important for him to live in the moment in what he had created. He’s 30 now and I’m still friends with him and his mom. He became a talented illustrator.” Then she got up and said it was nice talking to me and left.

The reason I thought this story was important to pass on is: here’s a woman who allowed these little ones to “be” in their moment and “live” in the present without any restrictions of time or space, if only for three weeks.

Did this single event have anything to do with the little boy becoming an illustrator? I do know he’s found a way to continue his creative endeavors and make money at something he’s passionate about.

What does this story have to do with your relationship with money? Contemplate a few questions. How were you valued and seen as a child growing up? Were you allowed to be creative, or did you feel restricted?

When we’re allowed to expand our creative endeavors as children, we not only feel respected and seen, but it’s also easier to continue as adults. It can often lead to earning money doing what we love. Ultimately, that’s what brings us joy; doing what we love, loving what we do, and living in the present moment. That’s all we really have.

What money topics interest you? Email me and I’ll do my best to address your topic here (no names!) and give you resources to help.

To learn more about your relationship with money, visit and take the complimentary “Money Type Quiz.” Only you will see the results. Or contact me at

To learn more about your relationship with money, visit and take the complimentary “Money Type Quiz.” Only you will see the results. Or contact me at

Donna Colfer has worked in financial management since 1987. As a Financial Counselor and a Certified Money Coach, she blends her financial expertise with spiritual counseling in her private practice in Sonoma. A Valley resident since 1981, Donna and her husband, Randy, reside in Kenwood.

© 2020 Donna Colfer


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